The (Hopefully) Last of the Predictable Episodes

Oh, kay. This is why Survivor can sometimes drive me crazy (racist?). While marching to tribal council, Steve makes a very reasonable appeal to Natalie and Ashley. Basically, it goes like this: Rob is the strongest player in the game. Ralph and I are voting for him. As soon as we're gone, he's going to turn on you guys, and you're all going to be played. Vote with Ralphmeister and I, flip the game around, and head into the last ten days from a position of strength, instead of heading for the homestretch as Rob's puppets.

And do the girls even consider it? Of course not. 'CAUSE HARDLY ANYONE PLAYS THE GAME! No one takes any initiative. Which is why, I think, last season was pretty intriguing--Sash and Brenda going strong, til Holly made her move and flipped the tribe on Brenda. Then Jane going bonkers and calling out everyone. For heavens sakes, even Dan (Dan!) was scheming there for awhile, and during the entire episode you had characters like Marty making plays and shaking things up. Lots of initiative.

This season? Forget about it. Rob's calling the shots, and no one has any perspective. In the end, only one person wins--but for some reason Natalie and Ashley are under the impression that six people will win, and no one will have to do anything to save themselves once all the ex-Zap's are gone.

So the question remains: Who'll make a move? Given what we've seen so far, it seems like no one. Maybe Grant might, but he's actually in position to do really well if he just stays quiet. Same with Phillip. So Andrea, Ashley, Natalie, this one's on you. Is there going to be any intrigue this season? Let's all hope so.

Who You Callin' Crazy?

Last week's Survivor, though full of heated discussion, lacked any real drama. Sure, Phillip went bananas and accused Steve of being a racist. But Rob's lean, mean, Zapatera eliminating machine is still in top form.

In fact, there's nothing much to recap here--Rob wins a puzzle challenge (shocking, isn't it?), and another former Zap--Julie--was sent to Redemption Island (mind blown yet?). I just have to say one thing before not saying it drives me insane: Steve is not a racist!

What bugged me so much about that tribal council, as Jeff was trying to sort through the touchy situation, was that it was being recounted all wrong! Phillip told Jeff that Steve called him crazy after he suggested they combine rice rations. That's not how it happened! Watch the episode over again. Here's what actually happened:

Phillip (bothered by how much rice there is to go around the depleted former Zapatera tribe) suggests they combine rice. Steve says no, a totally justifiable move on multiple accounts that we won't bother getting into here. At no point, however does Steve call Phillip crazy. Not yet at least. Because what happens next is Phillip tells Steve that he had better be prepared to take his rice bucket with him everywhere he went for the rest of his time in the game, or else Phillip was going to steal it from him, and guard the rice, and Steve would have to come begging to Phillip, the rice master, for a portion of rice, and unless Steve planned on taking the rice with him everywhere, this was an absolute certainty. Then Steve called Phillip crazy.

And by the way, that is a fairly crazy thing for him (Phillip) to say. So yes, Steve was okay in calling Phillip--the samurai code wielding, feather wearing, pink bikini brief sporting, lion/gorilla tattoo owning, crispy rice wanting former federal agent (?)--kind of crazy. And no, race had nothing to do with it. So there.

Steve, you and Ralph are in a pickle. But don't worry. No one thinks you're racist. Not anyone in their right mind, anyway.

Walk Softly, Carry a Big(ger) Stick

The situation looks bleak indeed for Roger Federer fans. The Swiss has yet to notch a victory against a top ten opponent this year, and last's weeks flame out against Jurgen Melzer in Monte Carlo was particularly alarming. It wasn't his footwork that seemed off, or his quickness--he was ghosting around the court as effortlessly as ever. The glaring, can't-stand-to-watch quality of Fed's tennis these days is his unforced errors to winners ratio. Not only are his unforced errors high, but they're ugly. Like Smeagol ugly. Like routine backhands landing somewhere in general admission ugly.

He can still conceive the impossible angles, and get in position to hit them, but the execution is lacking (again, even on the routine stuff). So what do you do? Well, it's almost unfathomable that someone like Roger would swallow his pride long enough to even consider it, but one solution would be to use a larger racket. At 90 sq inches, Fed's Wilson Six.One Tour BLX is the smallest racket of anyone on tour. In the past, Rog's swing was so crisp, the motion so fluid that he didn't need the extra size to generate pace. And his hand-eye coordination was so otherwordly that he could keep the errors contained enough to win (a LOT) of matches.

Imagine what, say, an extra 10 sq inches (giving him 100 sq inches in total--the same size as Rafael Nadal's Babolat Aero Pro Drive) would do for his consistency. Heck, it might even add a little oomph to help hit past the Novak Djokovic's of the world. Either way, something's got to give. If he wants a real shot at winning majors, an adjustment of this kind is necessary. Pete Sampras was too stubborn to make the adjustment, and missed out on some late-career titles and any shot at the French Open. Let's hope Federer doesn't make the same mistake.

Regulators, Mount Up

Well, get ready for the "Mariano Crime Syndicate" to stop, drop, shut 'em down and open up shop. If they haven't been already. David's nickname for the ex-Omatepe (pronounced Om-topp-ay by Phillip) is priceless and fitting--they run quite the operation. The machine is working so perfectly, in fact, that Survivor is lucky they have Redemption Island, or else they'd be faced with the most predictable show in recent memory. (Side note: I have no idea why the show isn't doing more to mix it up a little bit, and give the former Zaps a bit of an advantage: Placing another hidden idol, a reward challenge that splits up the tribes for a few hours, etc. But at least they have Redemption Island, and they also could be counting on the fireworks getting big once it's nothing but the Syndicate left, which they probably will be.)

The former Omatepe's are clinical in their efficiency. During a potentially scary (for Rob) double elimination episode, the MCS didn't even break a sweat. And they've closed off any inroads for the Zaps by utilizing a (admittedly brilliant) buddy system. No one speaks to the other tribe by themselves.

It's during this episode that the MCS's unity crosses a line into what could easily be classified as uncomfortable. Rob is on his game, yes. But it's also very much creepy. Wondering what instances I'm referring to? Well, there were four. I'll list them:

1) Rob, describing Phillip, says that he's a "loyal soldier" and that "he'll be rewarded for his behavior."

2) Ralph, desperate to mix things up, tries talking to Natalie and Ashley, and promises to vote for Ashley if a) she's in the final three and b) he's on the jury. Natalie tattles to Rob, who then tells the camera Ashley will be "punished for her insubordination."

3) The former Zaps caught a ton of fish, and offered some to the Syndicate. Rob doesn't want his troops forming any sort of relationship with the other tribe, and orders them not to have any. (This despite 22+ days of subsisting on basically rice).

4) When weighing his options for tribal council, Rob deliberates over sending Steve home, and mentions that he's capable every once and awhile of a "mercy killing."

Raise your hand if you have the chills.

Still, this presents the Zapatera's with one of their only hopes in the game. Actually they have three. First, the immunity challenges. Second is playing mind games with Phillip (more on this later). And third is highlighting Rob's unsettling control over his alliance. And this third option just might work. Julie uses language like "Rob's cult" at tribal council, and points out their blind obedience. We saw Grant bristle a little bit when the camera asked him if he was nervous about crossing Rob's leadership by eating the fish. (And while he maintained that he does what he wants, and doesn't answer to anyone, you just get the feeling that he wasn't even convincing himself. I'm telling you, Rob is the Godfather.) If Julie, David, et. al can continue to make Rob's underlings aware of their subjugation (and on top of that, cause them to be bugged by it), then they just might have a chance.

Now back to Phillip. (Oh, Phillip. When are you gonna find whatever it is you're looking for?) Lest we forget, Phillip is the architect behind the most absurd tribal council of the season (maybe ever--in week one). Anyone who thinks that they can predict Phillip's behavior probably needs to brush up on that Samurai Code that he keeps ranting about. All we're talking about is one teeny, tiny idea to be planted in Phillip's head, from any source, and we're dealing with mayhem. (And by the way, while we're [kind of] on the topic, would there ever be an easier target on this planet for Leo DiCaprio and his team to Incept than Phillip? I'm not even sure they'd need to put him under one dream, let alone three. The man considers falling feathers (from the sky, where birds fly around) to be signs from higher powers, for crying out loud. Literally, whatever thought they wanted to plant, it's theirs).

Anyway, this last episode bears witness to the genius of the previous week's tribal council. With no threat from a flip-flopping Matt, the MCS is free to beat up on Zapatera like Kramer did with those eleven year old kids in his karate class.

Comment below with any thoughts or if you think I've missed anything. And stay tuned for this next episodes big (racially charged?) clash in camp.

Audio Rewind: "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not"

Maybe it's because Natalie and I can never remember to put new music in our car, but I've been listening to the Arctic Monkeys' first album nonstop. Which to anyone who knew me five years ago, this is no surprise.

What is at the root of my fascination with this band? Well, it's complicated. To begin with, Whatever People Say I Am debuted to out of this world reviews. Follow the link for a very terse summary. And try and make it through the second paragraph of this NYT feature without your jaw hitting the floor. As much as I'd like to say my preferences are a product of my own abstract thought, reading stuff like this as an 18 year biased me. At least, it got me to take the Sheffield rockers for a test drive.

If you've never listened to the band before, start with this album--it'll give you a general flavor and help you understand the band's thesis. They are (at the time of recording) young twenty somethings, dabbling in a sort of reflexivity where the music they perform at night clubs is, in fact, about adventures associated with hanging out at night clubs. But the AM's give nightlife in Yorkshire an educated voice that no other similarly minded music has been able to even remotely come close to duplicating [see Ke$ha, "Tik Toc" for a less inspiring example].

In fact, six years later, lyricist/singer Alex Turner's versatility in articulating the plight of the weekend warrior is the source of the album's staying power. It is impossible to listen (really listen) to the album and not marvel at Turner's subtle irony, his packed-with-meaning one liners, and the ease with which he operates as the reticent know-it-all. In "Still Take You Home" Turner makes abundantly clear two things: One, he can't stand the snobby girl who's cornered the market on everyone's attention. And two, he hates that he is craving to be noticed by her as well. And Turner is peerless in his description, framing the context with what appears to be just the right amount of complexity for a situation which, on its face, seems routine and very un-complex.

Sometimes, it's hard to keep up with him. Turner moves so effortlessly between conversations with the taxi driver and his friends (who are riding in the taxi) on "Red Lights..." that at first listen, the song seems nonsensical before it's cleverness is revealed. (Another example of this would-be-rambling-if- anyone-else-tried-to-write-it is on "From the Ritz to the Rubble." Somehow, someway, Turner takes the experience of being denied entrance to a club and turns it into poetry. Don't ask me how.) And moments like that abound on the album, each song with a gem or two to uncover.

And no, it is not 2006 anymore. But Whatever People Say I Am's extraordinary shelf life comes from it's ability to frame the experience of young adulthood in a way that is universal. Devoid of synth, or Auto-Tune, or anything else that will so horribly date music of today, the Arctic Monkeys rely on a truer formula--blending high energy rock music with genius for the masses.

When the Going Gets Tough, The Jury Decides to Punt

How, in the world, can this happen? Apparently, in America, people can go to trial, and if the jury can't decide whether someone is guilty or not, they just forget the whole thing ever happened. Excuse me?! What did I miss?

Although Barry Bonds was found guilty for obstruction of justice, (get this) the jury didn't agree on whether he was guilty about all the lying he did under oath, and offered no verdict. No verdict? What do you mean there's no verdict? You can't decide if he's innocent or not? So we're just going to do nothing about it? Forgive me if I come across a little Lewis Blackian here, but um, jury, let's FIGURE IT OUT.

Is this even allowed? Since when? Ever the opportunists, Bonds lawyers tried to get the lone guilty verdict thrown out while they were at it. Why not? Apparently anything goes in this courtroom. Boy, how come this scenario never made it into a John Grisham novel?

I'm telling you, Lt. Danny Kaffee would never let this stand.

Now there's a very real possibility I'm being dense here. Maybe this sort of thing happens all the time. And perhaps John Grisham did write about it (I'm not exactly his biggest fan). But in 24 years, I've never heard of such an occurrence. If anyone has, or is a big John Grisham fan, let me know--the outrage will cease.

The prosecution has to decide if it's worth it to pursue the case over again, and the one guilty verdict will likely turn into some form of house arrest. So it looks like Bonds made it out of this as unscathed as possible. Let this be a lesson to you kids, if you're going to do illegal things and lie about them, make sure you're rich.

A Quick Thought on Survivor Before Tonight's Episode

This idea came to me after reading my sister Melanie's comment on last week's episode. Her point was (cue the lightening strike) that Matt's religious convictions were working against him--he was too trusting, and it made him unable to read social cues, both of which are big obstacles to Survivor success. I think, sadly, she may be right.

Perhaps Matt thought Rob would really respect his honesty, or view it as an act of loyalty when he came clean with his master plan. (A plan which, a fried of mine regretfully pointed out--and I absolutely agree with him--would have been one of the most epic hostile take-overs in the show's history. Just too bad.) We all know how Rob actually responded.

The whole situation reminded me of a Saturday Night Live skit from 1995 called "Clara Turley's Bible Challenge." I cannot find the video anywhere, but let me see if I can sum it up for you in a way that makes clear the connection between it and Matt's blunder:

The scene is a Bible quiz show, with cash prizes given for each correct answer. The panel of contestants includes a Bible scholar, a nun, and Stan Hooper--a former transient turned biblical genius who is riding a 47 game winning streak (and is played by Norm MacDonald). Stan is introduced while he's smoking and eating a hamburger, and he wears a leather jacket.

How is it that Hooper is so good at this game, since your first impression is that this man has never picked up a Bible in his lifetime? The answer comes on the first question, an obscure reference to the exact number of years the Israelites were in Egypt. Incredibly, Clara Turley (the host) then provides the answer--430. She asks the contestants one by one: "Did you know that?" The scholar did not know the answer, and is given no money. Same with the nun. But Stan? Stan immediately rings his bell, and, with a bite of hamburger in his mouth proclaims, "yeah, I knew that!" He is given twenty dollars.

In some ways, this is the situation Matt is in. Just like Clara Turley and the other contestants, he is unmindful of the fact that players in the game are self-interested and opportunistic. I'm confident that when Matt told Rob about how he was going to join up with the Zapatera's and take him (Rob) down, Rob smiled the same way Stan Hooper did while ringing his little bell.

Only instead of twenty dollar bills, Survivor hands out a great big check for a million bucks.

Federer Cruises

This week marks the beginning of the clay court season, and Fed is off to a fairly decent start. If anyone was wondering whether or not there'd be scar tissue from the thumping he got in Miami, (I myself am guilty, as charged), Roger gave them his answer. You can check out the very abbreviated highlights in the link above.

It was, as they say, a clinic. And Kohlschreiber, with his strong clay court presence, was considered a rough draw for the Swiss so early in the tournament. Well, no problems there. Keep you posted.

Matt--Born to Be a Redemption Man

Big congrats to Boston Rob, officially the world's most heartless human being. And while we're handing out awards, I'm sure there's one for Matt--but what is it? Naive? Obnoxious? Misguided? In-your-face religious? Some freak combination of all of the above?
Where to even begin...

Well, the much hyped "merge episode" lived up to its billing and more. In case you missed it, Matt beats Sarita in that crazy, stand on two eighth-of-an-inch platforms for as long as you can challenge on Redemption Island, and Jeff Invites him back into the game. Whoo! It's the end of Redemption Island! All can go back to normal, and the game can be played as it was originally intended. But no, actually. Jeff announces that Redemption Island LIVES! And anyone voted out will be sent back to await their fate.

Two thoughts on the episode thus far: One, how coincidental is it that Matt cuts his foot, and worries to the camera, "Boy I hope it's not one of those...endurance...challenges..." only to discover that (by what appears to be mere happenstance) it is, in fact, one of those...endurance...challenges? Do you think it was just pure bad luck, or did one of the show's cagey producers make the switch to the "stand in the box" challenge for dramatic effect? Two, how weird/sad is that moment, looking back with hindsight, when Probst teases Matt about coming back to Redemption Island, and he (Matt) laughs and jokes with the tribe not to do it, that he needs a little break from solitary confinement? I say very weird/sad. And for someone dead set on not going back to Redemption, Matt certainly did not play like it.

So we have a merged tribe, and all the typical outcomes unfold--it's still basically two tribes, and old Omatepe tribe hogs the tarp, and no one is making any connections with the other guys, and there's an underlying us vs. them vibe throughout. (Also, Rob comes up with the most bogus tribe name--Murlonio--stealing it from his wife's stuffed animal collection. He tells the tribe it's Spanish for "of the sea, united" and they buy it hook, line, and sinker ["oh, that's beautiful!"]. My goodness, Rob is on another planet right now).

But Matt is the key player. And the outnumbered Zapatera tribe knows it. So Mike starts campaigning hard--like "I promise to take you to the top three" hard. And Matt goes back to his buddy Andrea and lets her know about it, and how he wants to leverage it into a Boston Rob blindside two tribal councils from that very moment. Also, Mike, in a shameless recruitment tactic, borrows Matt's pink bible and reads passages aloud over the fire, telling Matt how "cool" he thinks they (the passages) are. Please.

Oh, kay. Now enter the second worst play in Survivor history. (Here I am duty bound to acknowledge J.T., who gave Russell a hiddon idol while they were still on separate tribes, which was the number one worst play in Survivor history. And it always will be. Always.) What was Matt thinking? Does anyone have an idea? If so comment below. As of right now, I can't wrap my head around the logic.

He goes off with Rob, and while gazing out into the surf, Matt comes clean with the whole thing; tells him about the potential alliance with the Zapatera ex patriots and his/their plan to blindside Rob. Andrea joins them and Matt tells her that he's told Rob. Which, by the way, is a party foul on Matt since that was Andrea's only shot at getting in the game--she's low (wo)man on the totem pole otherwise. So, big thanks to Matt from Andrea.

What, in the world, could have possessed Matt to share this information with the best player in the game? (Maybe in the history of the game?) Does he not understand exactly what Rob will do with this information? Realizing that Matt is unstable, unpredictable, and a threat to ex-Omatepe's number advantage, Rob makes the call and puts Matt on the chopping block. What was even more unbelievable was how quickly Rob got his tribe mates on board.

And there we have it. Matt's brief reprise from Redemption is over and he's back, needing to win who knows how many challenges to get back in the game. And this is just my opinion, but he has no one to blame but himself, as sad as it is to say it.

Comment below with any thoughts, predictions, or possible explanations for Matt's behavior. I'd love to discuss them in detail, and wonder what everyone thinks is going to happen next week/in the future. Also, how about Phillip and his feather? It's just too much.

Until next week.

Some Initial Thoughts on the NBA Playoffs

In my mind, (which means the following is open for debate) the NBA has distanced itself far beyond college basketball in terms of excitement and relevance. [See Championship Game, Butler vs. Connecticut.] March Madness is fun. But it has little to do with the quality of basketball, and more to do with the fact that Americans like prognosticating, and gambling, and combining the two over the course of three weeks.

The much more compelling tournament is the NBA playoffs, which start in eleven days. We all may despise LeBron James for the puppet show he and his cohorts pulled this summer, but admittedly we owe him for it. The competitive fury it instilled in the rest of the league has yielded the most entertaining NBA season in memory. (Indeed this sort of rage billows in rookie Blake Griffin [playing for a non-contender], evoking a withering stare-down any time someone accidentally brushes him as they pass by--Blake, let's tone it down a little, huh?)

The above indicates a postseason that should be off the charts in all categories. Far from an exhaustive preview, I just have a few preliminary musings on the current situation.

First, no one in the West is playing on the Lakers' level. Really, it's not close. Except that I wouldn't count any team with Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook out of any playoff series for the next ten years. But San Antonio is on the verge of collapse, Dallas looks unable to get things going, and the Nuggets are lacking the talent to put away an elite team four times in seven games. I don't think it's a stretch to say the Lakers are in good position to make their fourth straight Finals appearance.

What's more interesting, is the race in the extremely top-heavy Eastern Conference. Chicago, Miami, Boston, Orlando. At this point, put names in a hat and draw--no way of knowing who wins a best of seven between any of these four teams. We'll have to just sit back and watch the slugfests. But what happens if Miami gets through to the Finals and meets Los Angeles?

It just so happens that LA looks like the favorite to win it all, just so long as the team they meet for the championship isn't Miami.

Consider Miami's weakness--strong point guard play. A slashing, distributing point guard gives the Heat fits since they don't have size to stop him inside the paint, and the subsequent collapse inside opens up shooters for wide open looks from 18+ feet. Jameer Nelson, Derrick Rose, Rajon Rondo, and Tony Parker have each dissected the Heat D with this blueprint.

The Lakers posses an impressive array of offensive weapons, not the least of which being the best player in the game today. But a quick, get-to-the-hoop point guard, they do not have. They devotedly play Phil Jackson's triangle offense, wherein the traditional point guard doesn't really exist. The Heat's season sweep of the Lakers may be offered as evidence of this match-up problem. Will the Lakers adjust, letting the nimble Shannon Brown drive and distribute? Not likely. I doubt Phil Jackson will counter 11 Championships worth of experience. And if that's the case, everyone's nightmare scenario might be closer than we all (most of all Preston Johnson) want to admit.

But don't worry just yet--of the above mentioned point guards that Miami can't deal with, three of the four play in the Eastern Conference. You may now exhale.

Tennis' New Marquee Matchup

Just call Novak Djokovic butter, 'cause he is on a roll! The Djoker continues his hard court dominance by winning the most important, non-major tournament of the year, besting Rafael Nadal 4-6 6-3 7-6 (4) in Miami on Sunday. You can see the low-def highlights here.

In startling contrast to Nadal's thumping of Roger Federer on Friday, this match made it clear: Djokovic-Nadal is the hottest ticket in tennis today. How could it not be? Both players are striking the ball so hard, and playing such remarkable defense, it's anyone's guess how either can win any points at all.

Of course, the answer is superb shotmaking--every other winner, it seems, worthy of making you stand up out of our seat. Both play with outrageous amounts of shot-controlling topspin, but neither are by any means constrained to the baseline. The result is a largely mistake free, dynamic all court match-up that is chalk full of jaw-droppers.

As bristly as I may have been at the thought of Djokovic being a world beater, his added class in taking center stage has made him exponentially more likable. He's full of grace, compliments to his beaten opponents, and is humble in his attitude toward winning and getting better. So, I'm out of reasons to not be excited. If this is a new era in men's tennis, I feel like, considering the quality of Sunday's final, it's something I could definitely get used to.

Phillip Wants the Crispy

It turns out finding the time to watch, summarize, and analyze six episodes of Survivor is extremely challenging. While trying to compile a season summary, I decided to punt for a little bit on the past episodes, and put up a summary of last week's installment. Without further ado...

Man, oh man is Grant clutch! He's maybe the most athletic contestant the show has ever recruited, and again this week he puts Omatepe on his back to reward/immunity. More on that in a bit. First, let's cover the fallout of last week's tribal council.

In Zapatera's camp, Dave is quickly becoming the guy at the office whose very mannerisms drive his coworkers crazy. You have probably met this guy before. Bless his heart, but this guy has done something(s) to make everybody cringe each time he opens his mouth. Sometimes you cannot pinpoint what he has done to be viewed this way. In David's case, the root of his annoying-ness is quite pinpointable: The little switcheroo he spectacularly failed at last episode. At least he wasn't vocal and combative while arguing his point...

At Redemption Island, Matt stays alive yet again by beating Stephanie at an oversized game of memory. Say what you will about his religious convictions that he so freely makes everyone aware of, but the kid is a fighter, and maybe the only player in the game that has a prayer of beating Grant in an individual immunity challenge.

Also, the Redemption Island challenges have quietly given way to one of my favorite Survivor trends in a while--the vanquished contestant selling out like an inmate being offered early parole by the warden. Ironically, the information is just as valueless as it appears in most prison movies/TV shows. Stephanie tells Rob "they're gunning for you!" (obvious in the extreme) and that Sarita is in charge of the tribe (she most definitely is not).

Back in Omatepe camp, one of the most preposterous arguments in Survivor history unfolds. Former Federal Agent (?) Phillip is starting to feel like the David of his tribe, and the girls' hero worship of Rob (admittedly, it is a bit unsettling) has put him over the top.

Rob is off doing something. The tribe is cooking rice. Natalie mentions to the tribe not to eat any of the crispy, brown rice at the bottom of the pot (from here on out referred to inexplicably as "the crispy" by arguing tribe members) as it is Rob's favorite. Phillip, not really wanting the crispy, but rather wanting to strike a blow to Rob's authority (as he perceives it) steps up and says that he would like a spoonful. The girls rush to Rob's rescue--the crispy (I literally laugh each time I type it) is for Rob only. Phillip is incensed, and rants to the tribe, the camera, and really himself about how he deserves more respect--allegedly in the form of burnt rice. This is the point where my wife and I just sort of held each other, not knowing what to think of the spectacle that has just unfolded. Are we sad for Phillip? Yes. Are we weirded out by the tribe's unquestioned loyalty to Boston Rob? You bet. It is very creepy. But mostly we are blown away by the position Rob finds himself in--my goodness is he, as they say, sitting pretty.

This is, without question, Rob's season to lose. Combined with the advantage in numbers Omatepe gets after this week's immunity challenge, I spend my waking hours contemplating just what he would have to do to get voted out. The enormity of such actions is just too stupefying to actually discuss here.

But here is one realistic scenario: Consider how Grant owned the immunity challenge for the second week in a row. When the merge happens (next week CBS tells us), immunity is individual, and Grant becomes a threat to make a run--a serious, Colby-esque in the Australian Outback run. If the merged tribe whittles down far enough, Grant, the immunity master, might be convinced to go to the final three with someone other than Rob, an obvious favorite for the million dollars. (Of course there are tons of problems with this theory, the most blatant of which involves Rob's hidden idol which a) no one knows about and b) he has zero foreseeable need to play since Omatepe has numbers. It would take a Redemption Island player flipping to give this scenario any chance of coming to fruition).

So we'll see what this week brings. Matt can finally get back in the game with one more win, and supposedly Rob is sweating the merge. Given his rare form this season, I'll believe it when I see it.

U-G-L-Y, Fed Most Certainly Has No Alibi

Do me a favor. The next time Roger Federer plays Rafael Nadal, just have me watch that documentary about the people that kill dolphins--it may actually leave me feeling more upbeat than the fifteen minutes after match point.

Boy, was that ugly. I mean, ug-ly. Nadal moved himself forward in both the Sony Ericsson Open and his head to head count with the formerly brilliant Swiss. The 6-3 6-2 scoreline might actually give a more generous account of what was the actual truth of the match.

It is a difficult thing to watch your favorite player go through a decline so visible. Like watching someone deconstruct Michelangelo's David with a slow moving wrecking ball. And right now we are in the beginning stages of this decomposition--the first few, laborious swings of the oversized marble. On the graces of his otherworldly talent, he is still able to beat almost anyone in the world at tennis. But against another all-time great, his weaknesses are glaringly exposed.

To wit: Roger Federer possesses the greatest stroke, perhaps, in tennis history. His fluid, classic but still modern forehand is truly something to behold. It is particularly fearsome when his opponent offers him a slow, high bouncing ball to his backhand, which he runs around and thrashes with a flattened out, whip-like stroke. The force of the swing lifts him off the ground momentarily, and the ball becomes a laser guided missile, painting the opposite corner of the court before skipping off, irretrievable.

But last night, not even the greatest forehand ever was enough to make Nadal uncomfortable. What was startling about the match was the ease with which Rafa was able to return Fed's biggest bombs. Clearly, the Swiss has lost the ability to hit through other elite players. And the panic was evident on every point as soon was his serve was broken in the third game of the first set.

From an analysis standpoint, the match can be summed up pretty succinctly--there were two big story lines. First, Roger was hoping to play aggressive, just like he did in London (the last time these two met, a match that Roger won), stepping inside the baseline and opening up the court. But Rafa couldn't be moved--there just wasn't enough on Fed's groundstrokes to even really put Nadal on the defensive. Once he realized this Roger went into panic mode, and started ill-advisedly rushing the net. Nadal passed him ease, and the panic only increased. Roger, feeling like he had to more urgent in creating opportunities, actually created more unforced errors (38 in total--one that landed about fifteen rows deep).

Second, Roger was trying to employ the same wide serve that had been so devastating in previous matches with Rafa. Only this time, Rafa adjusted. Standing out by the doubles alley, Nadal easily retrieved Fed's wide serves, seized the offensive and broke his rival four times in the match. Why did Roger not make him pay with more serves down the middle? I have no idea.

What was worse, Roger's inability to adjust left him scrambling all night, with no clear strategy. The result was multiple points in which (and it was so weird to see) Roger Federer was out of position and hitting shots off balance. Truly, very surreal.

So I think this is the end. Not of Roger, nor his chances to win any given match--he still has too much talent. But it's the end of the great clashes we've come to love and expect between these two titans of the game. It's up to the Djokovic's, Del Potro's, and Berdych's of the world to give Rafa chase for his number one ranking.

Next generation, the call has been sounded.