Phillip Wants the Crispy

It turns out finding the time to watch, summarize, and analyze six episodes of Survivor is extremely challenging. While trying to compile a season summary, I decided to punt for a little bit on the past episodes, and put up a summary of last week's installment. Without further ado...

Man, oh man is Grant clutch! He's maybe the most athletic contestant the show has ever recruited, and again this week he puts Omatepe on his back to reward/immunity. More on that in a bit. First, let's cover the fallout of last week's tribal council.

In Zapatera's camp, Dave is quickly becoming the guy at the office whose very mannerisms drive his coworkers crazy. You have probably met this guy before. Bless his heart, but this guy has done something(s) to make everybody cringe each time he opens his mouth. Sometimes you cannot pinpoint what he has done to be viewed this way. In David's case, the root of his annoying-ness is quite pinpointable: The little switcheroo he spectacularly failed at last episode. At least he wasn't vocal and combative while arguing his point...

At Redemption Island, Matt stays alive yet again by beating Stephanie at an oversized game of memory. Say what you will about his religious convictions that he so freely makes everyone aware of, but the kid is a fighter, and maybe the only player in the game that has a prayer of beating Grant in an individual immunity challenge.

Also, the Redemption Island challenges have quietly given way to one of my favorite Survivor trends in a while--the vanquished contestant selling out like an inmate being offered early parole by the warden. Ironically, the information is just as valueless as it appears in most prison movies/TV shows. Stephanie tells Rob "they're gunning for you!" (obvious in the extreme) and that Sarita is in charge of the tribe (she most definitely is not).

Back in Omatepe camp, one of the most preposterous arguments in Survivor history unfolds. Former Federal Agent (?) Phillip is starting to feel like the David of his tribe, and the girls' hero worship of Rob (admittedly, it is a bit unsettling) has put him over the top.

Rob is off doing something. The tribe is cooking rice. Natalie mentions to the tribe not to eat any of the crispy, brown rice at the bottom of the pot (from here on out referred to inexplicably as "the crispy" by arguing tribe members) as it is Rob's favorite. Phillip, not really wanting the crispy, but rather wanting to strike a blow to Rob's authority (as he perceives it) steps up and says that he would like a spoonful. The girls rush to Rob's rescue--the crispy (I literally laugh each time I type it) is for Rob only. Phillip is incensed, and rants to the tribe, the camera, and really himself about how he deserves more respect--allegedly in the form of burnt rice. This is the point where my wife and I just sort of held each other, not knowing what to think of the spectacle that has just unfolded. Are we sad for Phillip? Yes. Are we weirded out by the tribe's unquestioned loyalty to Boston Rob? You bet. It is very creepy. But mostly we are blown away by the position Rob finds himself in--my goodness is he, as they say, sitting pretty.

This is, without question, Rob's season to lose. Combined with the advantage in numbers Omatepe gets after this week's immunity challenge, I spend my waking hours contemplating just what he would have to do to get voted out. The enormity of such actions is just too stupefying to actually discuss here.

But here is one realistic scenario: Consider how Grant owned the immunity challenge for the second week in a row. When the merge happens (next week CBS tells us), immunity is individual, and Grant becomes a threat to make a run--a serious, Colby-esque in the Australian Outback run. If the merged tribe whittles down far enough, Grant, the immunity master, might be convinced to go to the final three with someone other than Rob, an obvious favorite for the million dollars. (Of course there are tons of problems with this theory, the most blatant of which involves Rob's hidden idol which a) no one knows about and b) he has zero foreseeable need to play since Omatepe has numbers. It would take a Redemption Island player flipping to give this scenario any chance of coming to fruition).

So we'll see what this week brings. Matt can finally get back in the game with one more win, and supposedly Rob is sweating the merge. Given his rare form this season, I'll believe it when I see it.